I recently had a conversation with someone over lunch about how I am still not in a relationship for a long period. And when I was forced to answer the question I myself don’t even know why, I made an excuse of “having high standards” when it comes to men. Of course, out of good humour, the other person suspected my answer and told me, “Have you ever wondered that maybe you are just unwanted?”
In that wry moment, it got me thinking…
I have physically been on this earth for 23 years, and in those
years of my existence, there’s this one thing that is still so foreign to me
and that is what it’s like to be loved. I have had life experiences, but
moments like this made me realize, I’ve never really experienced the feeling of
being “in love”.
single compliment. Maybe I have felt the rush of what they call free fall but no one, from those people I experienced falling with, has ever caught me or loved me in return.
Yes, there were times that I wondered what’s wrong – Am I
that unattractive making me stand so invisible to others? Perhaps I am so
boring and uninteresting and maybe worthless. Am I really unwanted? The
fruition from all these contemplations has converted into self-blame which upsets
me and made me questioned my self-esteem. However, this isn’t a rumination
seeking for sympathy.
As time ticks, the image is becoming clearer to me – sure romantic
love is indescribable feeling but that doesn’t make my life any less complete
than those who have. Keep a note to yourself that just because you are alone
doesn’t mean you are incomplete and incapable of achieving happiness and
contentment. Although this may sound cliché, aloneness will never be equivalent
to loneliness. Having no one to return your feelings or look at you the
same way you look at them would never invalidate your loving capabilities. The
truth is somewhere in the corner, someone’s wondering how it would feel like to
meet someone like you. All it takes is perfect timing and patience for you to
meet the right person, and all the love that has prepared in his heart through
the years would be filled in your longing one - to the point that it would
overflow.
No matter what age bracket you are in, there is nothing wrong
with being single. Finding romantic love is not a race to win. So slow down and
take your time as much as possible. There are still millions of things you have
yet to discover.
