Confidence is basically one of the
things that I have always wanted to voice out. Without the slightest
doubt, every single one of us has their own extreme insecurity. It has been a
struggle for myriad and a stabbing thought that at any time we stand in front
of the mirror, we only see the things that makes us different from the pack.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Initially, being different doesn’t
necessarily have to be considered as an issue.
When I was in my preteen, I did not pay attention too much to the fashion world and the desire to change based on trends – but then I was only twelve at that time. It was not long after when I hit sophomore in high school that I started to notice the things that developed my insecurities. I was this dark skinned girl with a class III malocclusion or simply an under bite teeth that made my chin look longer and eyebrows that seemed like a wildflower that grows everywhere. Of course, I went through a phase where I get laughed or joked about how I look. Even though it wasn’t that bad at all, I knew something was different about me.
When I was in my preteen, I did not pay attention too much to the fashion world and the desire to change based on trends – but then I was only twelve at that time. It was not long after when I hit sophomore in high school that I started to notice the things that developed my insecurities. I was this dark skinned girl with a class III malocclusion or simply an under bite teeth that made my chin look longer and eyebrows that seemed like a wildflower that grows everywhere. Of course, I went through a phase where I get laughed or joked about how I look. Even though it wasn’t that bad at all, I knew something was different about me.
It got to a point that
I was obsess with editing my photos just to make myself look good in the social
media world. I made a complete different person out of me by distorting my body
and applying too much filters on my face. I held on to
high standards knowing that I was already comparing myself to others and it
somehow made me feel less beautiful. It was an everyday battle trying to
keep up the insatiable desire of everyone. I grew more tired and didn’t get the
satisfaction of what I was trying to prove to every person and even to myself.
When I started going
to college, I met different types of people that finally snapped me back to
reality and realized that I do actually have a choice. I knew at that moment
that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life trying to understand the
definition of beauty as something that you still have to achieve. In
fact, I already achieved mine long before I finally recognized it – we all
did.
I once read a book by Lily Collins that I have
always been captivated by, and one of the lines in it has struck me ever since
the first time I read it. It says “The quirky things that make
you different are what make you beautiful”. As cliché as it sounds, we live in our own beauty. We just
need to take time to appreciate how we are patterned and the rest is all up to
you. There is no need for filters or any consent from anyone to make
you feel admired. It all goes back to you.
